my thoughts..my feelings..my daily activities.. BEWARE!!!

1/20/26 4:02pm

its 4 degrees outside today. im skipping things i planned to do because i fell down the stairs and my body hurts. i wish i had more time to do everything and nothing at the same time!

1/25/26 4:54pm

nyc snow day! its been snowing for hours and hours with no end in sight.. i went outside to walk my dog and i laid down in the snow for a bit for fun. i have spent the last 10+ years of my life without the joy of running and falling down in the snow and catching flurries on my tongue and watching the snow fall thru my window from the indoor safety of a pile of blankets. i am so happy and grateful my life has come back around full circle and im in snow again, i hope i never spend 10+ years out of the snow ever again! my job closed today due to the weather so its real deal snow day vibes like when i was a kid and school was closed and u get a surprise 3 day weekend! i am going to eat doritos and watch movies!

2/3/26 6:58pm

the snow has not gone away at all! its freezing and icy every day. yesterday i had mostly a day of solitude which is not frequent for me so i cleaned and relaxed and watched my favorite movie && then my lover got home and my friends came over to drink twisted tea and watch bhad bhabie music videos.

i go thru periods of time where i am obsessed with keeping up with the news and all the current events and happenings in the country and the world so im informed and aware of whats happening, or periods of time where i get overwhelmed and very depressed with the constant information being dumped online in real time about all the evil and horror in the country and the whole world. lately ive been more on the obsessive side of consuming everything and being aware of whats going on and whats coming out but its so depressing and makes me feel very tired and hopeless. everything is scary and horrific and seems like every second that passes its being further solidified that all of this horrible evil shit is so much more beyond what anyone would originally think and everyone who has power in any sense is so much more deeply involved and in control of everything and its just horrific. ignorance is bliss in the sense that theres only so much im able to do and if i just obsess over genocide and the elites and the climate etc but also to be ignorant is a choice and a loser choice at that because u need to actively choose to not be aware or simply not care to look at what is happening right now in the world and i just dont rock with that.

the advancement of the internet and social media in terms of news has caused so much anxiety and hysteria, i assume, in sooo many other people and not just myself. the internet went from looking up celeb gossip or music or art or chatting with friends etc to, the first thing u do when u wake up is check ur phone and the first thing u see whether u want to or not is any given catastrophic heinous devestating depressing tragedy as a push notification that u didnt even sign up to see, but then of course once u see it u want to click and learn more so u can know whats going on and have some direction to point the outrage at. its unhealthy and im sick of it! but also, i guess the positive side of that is that because everything is so automatically viral and everything is online instantly all the time live then its harder for bad shit to happen and the bad people to get away with it. but at what cost! where is the line between blissfull ignorance and self centered privlidged arrogance? :( the world is horrible and evil but i must force myself to remember that there is more beauty in life than torment and i must continue to just go on and do my best to better what is around me, and if everyone does that it will eventually reach everywhere! ...